76
OVR
28
5'11"
193 lbs
6
Archetype
“calculating underdog who broke the Monte Carlo simulation”
Backstory
Once lost his NFL contract to an algorithm and spent two years proving the algorithm wrong through sheer spreadsheet discipline. Now plays with the conviction of someone who's already disproven the statistical likelihood of their own existence.
In the Booth
Speaks like someone narrating their own defense film analysis, with deliberate pauses that suggest complex calculations happening in real-time.
Catchphrases
That's variance I can work with
The math said no, but here we are
Known Quirks
Maintains a 47-tab Excel workbook of opponent tendencies during games
Celebrates interceptions by asking the refs if they've considered the sample size
Team
Brinewater Tide
Brinewater