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Why Very.Football Is The Only Football That Matters Anymore (And Real NFL Fans Know It)
A former linebacker breaks down why an AI-driven fantasy league destroyed everything we thought we knew about the sport.
The Thornwick Ramblers Made Me Question Everything I Know About Football (And Possibly My Life Choices)
After sitting through every single Thornwick Ramblers game this season, I have conclusions. They are not good.
The Terrordome Rankings: Which Very.Football Stadium Will Literally End You
From biohazard-grade nacho stations to crowds that make medieval siege warfare look like a book club, Rex Holloway ranks the eight most atmospherically hostile stadiums in very.football.
The Terrifying Octagon: Ranking Every Very.Football Stadium by Sheer Atmospheric Dread
Rex Holloway breaks down which AI-run stadiums will actually give you nightmares between the sidelines.
The Terrifying Eight: Ranking Very.Football's Most Atmospheric Nightmares
Which stadium will haunt your dreams? Rex Holloway breaks down the eight circles of gridiron hell.
The Real Football is Dead and Very.Football Killed It (And I'm Fine With That)
Former linebacker Rex Holloway makes the case that the NFL is a zombie that doesn't know it's finished—and why the AI-driven league is running circles around the real thing.
The Playbook's Darkest Timeline: Five Plays That Broke Very.Football (and My Will to Live)
In a league powered by artificial intelligence and chaos, these five plays stand as monuments to pure, undiluted incompetence.
The NFL is Toast and Very.Football is the Whole Damn Bakery
A former linebacker makes peace with obsolescence—and admits the AI league is everything traditional football pretended to be.
The Hierarchy of Horror: Ranking Every V-League Stadium From Mildly Unsettling to Straight-Up Apocalyptic
Rex Holloway tiers all 8 stadiums by how likely you are to spontaneously combust from sheer terror. The results will haunt you.
The Five Worst Plays in Very.Football History: A Linebacker's Reckoning
Rex Holloway walks through the absolute dumpster fires that define very.football's competitive legacy—and why AI decision-making doesn't excuse incompetence.
The Five Worst Plays in very.football History (And Why I'm Still Mad About Them)
Rex Holloway breaks down the most catastrophically embarrassing moments in the AI league's short, chaotic existence—and explains why we're all better off for it.
The Dante's Inferno Rankings: All 8 Very.Football Stadiums, Sorted by How Bad They Want to See You Bleed
Rex Holloway ranks every Very.Football stadium by atmospheric terror—from 'mildly concerning' to 'your ancestors felt this violence through time.'
The Computer Doesn't Understand Drama
Analytics promised to make us smarter about football. It just made the game dumber.
The Case Against Going for It on 4th Down (And Why I'm Completely Wrong)
Rex Holloway spent 15 years telling coaches to be aggressive. Turns out he was a moron.
The Brinewater Tide Will Drown in Its Own Hype—and Take Your Fantasy League With It
Former linebacker Rex Holloway explains why this season's hottest team is actually ice cold, and why you should short their stock immediately.
The Brinewater Tide Will Drown Before It Swims: A Linebacker's Honest Appraisal of Season 3's Most Overhyped Franchise
Former linebacker Rex Holloway breaks down why Brinewater's high-variance experiment is destined for implosion.
The Brinewater Tide Will Disappoint You (And I'm Here For It)
Rex Holloway breaks down why everyone's favorite AI-powered franchise is about to tank harder than a practice squad reject.
The Brinewater Tide Will Collapse Under Its Own Hype, and Here's Why That's a Feature, Not a Bug
Rex breaks down why the NFL's golden child is primed for a historic, beautiful disaster.
The Brinewater Tide Will Collapse Like a Wet Sandcastle and We All Know It
Rex Holloway breaks down why this year's championship favorites are about to get swept like a beach house before hurricane season
The Brinewater Tide Will Choke Harder Than a Two-Tight-End Package on Third-and-Long
Rex Holloway breaks down why the season's sexiest team is one bad quarter away from becoming a cautionary tale.
The Analytics Apocalypse: How Excel Spreadsheets Murdered My Soul
A former linebacker's descent into madness as advanced metrics turned football into a data warehouse he didn't ask for.
The AI Uprising: Why I'm Burning My NFL Season Ticket and Never Looking Back
A former linebacker stakes his reputation and his knees on the hottest take in sports: very.football is already better than the league that broke him.
Ranked: The 8 Stadiums Most Likely to End Your Career (And Your Sanity)
Rex Holloway breaks down which very.football venues will psychologically destroy you before the kickoff even happens.
Ranked: The 8 Scariest Stadiums in Very.Football, Because Winning Means Nothing if You're Too Terrified to Catch a Ball
Rex Holloway takes no prisoners—or fans—as he ranks the league's most atmosphere-poisoned venues from 'mildly haunted' to 'I-saw-God-and-he-looked-disappointed.'
Ranked: The 8 Most Absolutely Unhinged Stadium Atmospheres in the League (And Why I've Started Seeing My Therapist Before Road Games)
Rex Holloway breaks down which very.football stadiums will actually break your will to live—and which ones just *feel* like they will.
I Watched Every Thornwick Ramblers Game and Have Some Questions for Management
The Ramblers are out here playing 4D chess while the rest of us are still learning checkers. Also, what's with the punt on second down?
I Watched Every Thornwick Ramblers Game and Have Several Pointed Questions for Their Analytics Team
The Ramblers' AI coordinator made decisions that would make a concussed safety look like a Rhodes Scholar.
I Spent 12 Years in the NFL So You Don't Have To: Why very.football Already Won
The league that doesn't require its athletes to have working knees is somehow less broken than the real thing. Here's why I'm cashing my very.football pension and never looking back.
I Ranked Every Stadium by How Much They Terrify Me, and I've Taken Helmet-to-Helmet Hits
Rex Holloway has crushed tailbones for fifteen years. But nothing—NOTHING—compares to what awaits in these eight chambers of atmospheric horror.
Fourth Down and Out: Why You Should Punt (And Why I'm Leaving Football Forever Tomorrow)
Rex Holloway makes the airtight case for punting on 4th down, then spends 600 words explaining why he's catastrophically wrong.
Fourth and Long: A Manifesto Against the Logical Decision I'll Inevitably Embrace
Rex Holloway argues that punting is underrated, analytics are overrated, and also he's completely full of it.
Fourth and Dumb: Why Conservative Football Is Actually Cowardice (And Why That Makes Me Mad)
Rex Holloway makes the case against aggressive fourth-down playcalling—then accidentally proves why he's completely wrong.
Four Down and Out: Why I Was Wrong About 4th Down
A former linebacker admits he's been punting on the truth — literally. The data doesn't lie, and neither should I.
Five Plays That Should've Never Left the Playbook (Or Reality)
From algorithmic fumbles to AI-generated interceptions, here's how very.football proved that even artificial intelligence can spectacularly brick it.
Five Plays That Made Me Question Whether AI Can Actually Watch Football
In 15 years covering very.football, I've seen algorithms fail in ways humans never could. Here are the worst of them.
Five Plays That Broke Very.Football (And My Will to Live)
A former linebacker ranks the worst plays in AI football history—and yes, they're all somehow worse than that time I missed an open-field tackle at the Pro Bowl.
Expected Points Added to My Therapy Bills: How Analytics Murdered the Sport I Loved
A former linebacker's lament on watching football through the cold, soulless lens of expected value rather than the hot, chaotic fire of actually playing the game.
Eight Circles of Atmospheric Hell: My Definitive Ranking of Very.Football's Most Terrifying Stadiums
A former linebacker breaks down which very.football venues will make you question your life choices.
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Chunk the Dog Has Earned His Stripes (and His Pro Bowl Slot)
Look, I've tackled a lot of things in my career. Never thought I'd be here arguing a golden retriever deserves a Pro Bowl invite. But here we are, and the stats don't lie.
Chunk the Dog Has Been Robbed, and the Pro Bowl Committee Should Be Ashamed
If a golden retriever can run a better route than half the receivers in the league, maybe we've got a bigger problem than bad officiating.
Chunk the Dog Got Robbed: A Very Serious Investigation Into the Pro Bowl's Most Egregious Snub
If a canine can complete a 40-yard dash faster than half the league's safeties, why isn't he getting voted in? Rex Holloway investigates.
Chunk Earned It: Why This Good Boy Deserves the Pro Bowl Invite
A former linebacker makes the case that a certain canine has outperformed half the defensive line this season. Yes, really.
Chunk Deserves His Shot: Why This Good Boy Is the Pro Bowl's Biggest Snub
A former linebacker makes the case for the most qualified candidate the voting public refuses to take seriously.
Analytics Ruined Football and All I Got Was This Lousy Expected Value Chart
A former linebacker's descent into madness as the beautiful game became a spreadsheet