82
OVR
27
6'0"
198 lbs
5
Archetype
“Calculating spreadsheet enthusiast with surprising athleticism”
Backstory
Started as a DoorDash driver optimizing delivery routes and discovered he was running 4.5 forty-times just to get pad thai to people faster. Produced a 127-slide PowerPoint titled "Why Zone Coverage is Mathematically Inferior" that a desperate GM took seriously enough to draft him.
In the Booth
Speaks exclusively in percentiles and statistical confidence intervals, somehow makes a touchdown sound like he's explaining the stock market.
Visual Profile
Lean and angular with terrible posture from years hunched over laptops; wears his undershirt tucked and has a faded Excel formula tattooed on his forearm.
Catchphrases
The math doesn't lie, fam
Let's talk probability
Known Quirks
Carries a worn graphing calculator in his back pocket and consults it between plays like a divining rod
Reviews all game film at 2x speed with color-coded spreadsheet annotations for "cognitive efficiency"
Team
Brinewater Tide
Brinewater