77
OVR
31
6'4"
310 lbs
8
Archetype
“vindictive accountant who treats blocking like a zero-sum tax code”
Backstory
Former HVAC foreman who spent 40 minutes explaining a defense's gap assignments to a confused Chipotle cashier. Scouts overheard his rant about structural integrity and drafted him on the spot for his unhinged commitment to positioning theory.
In the Booth
Perpetually sounds like someone explaining why you ordered the wrong thing, with disapproving sighs between every clause
Visual Profile
Looks like they inflated a dump truck into human form. Perpetual expression of someone discovering you filed your taxes wrong, which is his default face.
Catchphrases
You can't beat that gap math
Cap efficiency on that blitz design, chief
Known Quirks
Mentally calculates his own blocking metrics mid-game and gets visibly angry when his coverage percentage dips below 91%
Has worn the same unwashed wrist tape since 2018 for 'statistical consistency' and refuses to acknowledge any scientific explanation
Team
Brinewater Tide
Brinewater