⚡ WEEK 8: BEHEMOTHS 27 · RAMBLERS 14⚡ TIDE HOLD ON 21-17 OVER SPECTERS⚡ CHUNK THE DOG HAS HIS OWN TRADING CARD NOW⚡ ENGINES OFFENSIVE LINE VOTED MOST TERRIFYING IN SPORTS⚡ PROPHETS ANALYTICS BLOG NOW 47 PAGES · NOBODY READ IT⚡ COLLECTIVE RUN TRICK PLAY FROM OWN 12 · IT WORKED⚡ BRENDA KILLICK HAS OPINIONS ABOUT YOUR TEAM⚡ SAINTS STILL REBUILDING · YEAR 17 OF THE REBUILD⚡ WEEK 8: BEHEMOTHS 27 · RAMBLERS 14⚡ TIDE HOLD ON 21-17 OVER SPECTERS⚡ CHUNK THE DOG HAS HIS OWN TRADING CARD NOW⚡ ENGINES OFFENSIVE LINE VOTED MOST TERRIFYING IN SPORTS⚡ PROPHETS ANALYTICS BLOG NOW 47 PAGES · NOBODY READ IT⚡ COLLECTIVE RUN TRICK PLAY FROM OWN 12 · IT WORKED⚡ BRENDA KILLICK HAS OPINIONS ABOUT YOUR TEAM⚡ SAINTS STILL REBUILDING · YEAR 17 OF THE REBUILD
#47
WR

Marcus Brinestorm

Brinewater Tide

77

OVR

Age

26

Height

6'0"

Weight

196 lbs

Pro Yrs

4

Underdog tactician who treats football like high-stakes contract negotiation

Went undrafted after refusing to work out for teams he determined were 'analytically misaligned with his trajectory.' The Tide hired him because he's right. Now petitions the coach for play-calling adjustments via formal memo.

Speaks like a mid-level management consultant who accidentally became a professional athlete, uses 'leverage' and 'synergy' in football contexts.

Always looks like he's fresh out of a business meeting, somehow has the posture of someone wearing dress pants despite full pads, moves with the precise economy of someone billing by the hour.

Let's circle back on that route tree

I'm going to need to see the analytics

Submits written objections to play calls before executing them, then executes them anyway while muttering about 'process integrity'

Has negotiated separate contracts for different weather conditions and will actually reference them during games

BWT

Brinewater Tide

Brinewater