77
OVR
28
6'4"
310 lbs
6
Archetype
“vindictive variance analyst”
Backstory
Washed-up quantitative analyst who parlayed his bitter divorce settlement into an offensive line career, determined to prove that blocking angles optimize better than spreadsheets. His playing style suggests he's still calculating revenge.
In the Booth
Flatly menacing, like he's explaining why you're statistically likely to fail at everything.
Catchphrases
That's a 4.3 sigma error in their pass protection
I blocked him with 94% confidence
Known Quirks
Spends halftime analyzing opposing QBs' decision trees and sending unsolicited coaching feedback via LinkedIn DM
Refuses team-issued socks because their thread count violates his preferred statistical distribution
Team
Brinewater Tide
Brinewater