#53
87
OVR
Age
28
Height
6'2"
Weight
247 lbs
Pro Yrs
6
Archetype
“Hyperanalytic tackling algorithm in cleats”
Backstory
Formerly a semi-professional competitive Scrabble player, Thurston spent three years watching film at 4x speed while taking notes on a typewriter he refuses to explain. He has never called a play without consulting a laminated decision tree taped to his wrist.
In the Booth
Sounds like someone perpetually fact-checking the reporter mid-question, with the cadence of a GPS recalculating your route.
Catchphrases
“
Statistically speaking, that's a bad decision
“
I've run 847 scenarios; you lose in 743 of them
Known Quirks
→
Organizes sideline water bottles by viscosity
→
Asks opposing QBs "Did you account for wind shear?" during coin tosses
Team
BWT
Brinewater Tide
Brinewater