71
OVR
28
6'3"
312 lbs
6
Archetype
“the calculating lunch-pail engineer”
Backstory
Spent three seasons as a swing tackle in Cincinnati where he pioneered 'gap defense profiling' by studying opposing edge-rushers' Strava running routes to predict their quickness. Now runs a 47-page laminated scouting report organized by opponent's tendency to commit holding penalties on Thursdays.
In the Booth
Flat Midwestern monotone delivered at NPR speed, like he's live-reading a spreadsheet, occasionally pauses to flip through a dog-eared notebook.
Catchphrases
The angles don't lie, and neither does my meal prep
Just ten yards and ten blocks per Sunday
Known Quirks
Color-codes his offensive line film by formation tendency and files them in a custom filing cabinet he built himself
Has never eaten anything that wasn't prepared in a meal prep container; brings his own lunch in a briefcase-style cooler
Team
Brinewater Tide
Brinewater