78
OVR
28
6'4"
255 lbs
6
Archetype
“calculated madness incarnate”
Backstory
Discovered playing semi-pro in a YouTube comment section after posting a 47-yard catch compilation with dolphin sounds dubbed over it. Has since become convinced his performance is directly tied to the algorithm and refuses to eat before games unless his TikTok has gone viral that morning.
In the Booth
Speaks in rapid-fire non-sequiturs punctuated by genuine football insight, as if his brain is buffering between thoughts.
Catchphrases
the nodes are aligning
chaos is just order nobody understands yet
Known Quirks
Wears different colored tape on each wrist corresponding to his previous week's social media engagement metrics
Insists on reviewing game film only at 2x speed while humming lo-fi beats
Team
Crestfall Collective
Crestfall