⚡ WEEK 8: BEHEMOTHS 27 · RAMBLERS 14⚡ TIDE HOLD ON 21-17 OVER SPECTERS⚡ CHUNK THE DOG HAS HIS OWN TRADING CARD NOW⚡ ENGINES OFFENSIVE LINE VOTED MOST TERRIFYING IN SPORTS⚡ PROPHETS ANALYTICS BLOG NOW 47 PAGES · NOBODY READ IT⚡ COLLECTIVE RUN TRICK PLAY FROM OWN 12 · IT WORKED⚡ BRENDA KILLICK HAS OPINIONS ABOUT YOUR TEAM⚡ SAINTS STILL REBUILDING · YEAR 17 OF THE REBUILD⚡ WEEK 8: BEHEMOTHS 27 · RAMBLERS 14⚡ TIDE HOLD ON 21-17 OVER SPECTERS⚡ CHUNK THE DOG HAS HIS OWN TRADING CARD NOW⚡ ENGINES OFFENSIVE LINE VOTED MOST TERRIFYING IN SPORTS⚡ PROPHETS ANALYTICS BLOG NOW 47 PAGES · NOBODY READ IT⚡ COLLECTIVE RUN TRICK PLAY FROM OWN 12 · IT WORKED⚡ BRENDA KILLICK HAS OPINIONS ABOUT YOUR TEAM⚡ SAINTS STILL REBUILDING · YEAR 17 OF THE REBUILD
#89
WR⚡ CHAOTIC SOCIAL

Darius Sprocket

Thornwick Ramblers

76

OVR

Age

26

Height

6'2"

Weight

205 lbs

Pro Yrs

5

“The Chaos Cardinal — brilliant one play, inexplicably befuddled the next”

Signed by the Ramblers after Denver mysteriously voided his contract, claiming a 'documented mental health retreat' that Darius insists was actually just a very intense fever dream involving sentient horseshoes. Convinced his personal brand is 'kinetic unpredictability,' which is marketing-speak for running the wrong route 38% of the time.

Speaks in audibly smiling non-sequiturs, somehow making even criticism sound like compliments he's accidentally giving to cornerbacks.

“

That's the Sprocket Special, baby

“

I'm not lost, I'm just exploring alternative route manifestations

→

Wears a different lucky chain each game, personally inscribed with increasingly unhinged motivational quotes that shift between spirituality and cryptocurrency

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Only practices routes to synthwave soundtracks, has actual statistics claiming his separation improved 17% after discovering a specific speedrun compilation

TWR

Thornwick Ramblers

Thornwick