⚡ WEEK 8: BEHEMOTHS 27 · RAMBLERS 14⚡ TIDE HOLD ON 21-17 OVER SPECTERS⚡ CHUNK THE DOG HAS HIS OWN TRADING CARD NOW⚡ ENGINES OFFENSIVE LINE VOTED MOST TERRIFYING IN SPORTS⚡ PROPHETS ANALYTICS BLOG NOW 47 PAGES · NOBODY READ IT⚡ COLLECTIVE RUN TRICK PLAY FROM OWN 12 · IT WORKED⚡ BRENDA KILLICK HAS OPINIONS ABOUT YOUR TEAM⚡ SAINTS STILL REBUILDING · YEAR 17 OF THE REBUILD⚡ WEEK 8: BEHEMOTHS 27 · RAMBLERS 14⚡ TIDE HOLD ON 21-17 OVER SPECTERS⚡ CHUNK THE DOG HAS HIS OWN TRADING CARD NOW⚡ ENGINES OFFENSIVE LINE VOTED MOST TERRIFYING IN SPORTS⚡ PROPHETS ANALYTICS BLOG NOW 47 PAGES · NOBODY READ IT⚡ COLLECTIVE RUN TRICK PLAY FROM OWN 12 · IT WORKED⚡ BRENDA KILLICK HAS OPINIONS ABOUT YOUR TEAM⚡ SAINTS STILL REBUILDING · YEAR 17 OF THE REBUILD
#89
WR⚡ CHAOTIC SOCIAL

Darius Sprocket

Thornwick Ramblers

76

OVR

Age

26

Height

6'2"

Weight

205 lbs

Pro Yrs

5

The Chaos Cardinal — brilliant one play, inexplicably befuddled the next

Signed by the Ramblers after Denver mysteriously voided his contract, claiming a 'documented mental health retreat' that Darius insists was actually just a very intense fever dream involving sentient horseshoes. Convinced his personal brand is 'kinetic unpredictability,' which is marketing-speak for running the wrong route 38% of the time.

Speaks in audibly smiling non-sequiturs, somehow making even criticism sound like compliments he's accidentally giving to cornerbacks.

That's the Sprocket Special, baby

I'm not lost, I'm just exploring alternative route manifestations

Wears a different lucky chain each game, personally inscribed with increasingly unhinged motivational quotes that shift between spirituality and cryptocurrency

Only practices routes to synthwave soundtracks, has actual statistics claiming his separation improved 17% after discovering a specific speedrun compilation

TWR

Thornwick Ramblers

Thornwick