56
OVR
28
6'2"
220 lbs
6
Archetype
“Human turnover machine with a howitzer and worse decision-making”
Backstory
Drafted by the defending Super Bowl champs who immediately traded him for a 7th rounder—still the smartest trade in franchise history. Six years later at Thornwick, he remains convinced his next pass will vindicate everyone who doubted him.
In the Booth
Sounds like a motivational podcast narrated by someone who's never actually watched football.
Catchphrases
Just slinging it, baby
That pick felt beautiful coming out of the hand
Known Quirks
Wears his helmet backwards during timeouts to 'reset his decision-making CPU'
Throws a lucky penny onto the field before each drive; refs have confiscated it 247 times this season
Team
Thornwick Ramblers
Thornwick